Pete Rubens vs. The World

B*tches & Sisters

“I love my sisters, I don’t love no bitch” – Jay – Z

So while waiting patiently for nude flicks from women with over 1k Twitter followers, I saw this gem scroll across my TL.

Now many thoughts ran through my mind at first glance; 1) why’d she use so many damn quotation marks? 2) she can’t construct a sentence worth shit and 3) what exactly separates a ‘bitch’ from an upstanding, tax-paying, self righteous woman? My conclusion was simple; nothing.

Ladies, I want to make one thing very clear; your biggest obstacle as a gender is each other. No one hates a woman like another woman, and that’s a fact, Google it. Women want to gangsta lean on the double standards crutch when promiscuous men aren’t considered ‘hoes’, but there’s a reason for that; because real niggas applaud another nigga that does whatever he wants to make himself happy. But the moment a fellow woman does the same thing and sleeps with a few men with verified accounts and Vimeo pages, you’re the first one to call her a hoe. No, ma, she’s not a hoe, you’re just miserable.

But She’s Slept With a Lot of Men, So She’s Definitely a Hoe, Right?

Let’s be honest, no man from pure origins gives one single fuck about how many men a woman has been with. Unless shorty had the Million Man March stomp through her womb, a woman’s past is exactly that, her past. Don’t believe me? Ask a man if he’d cop a ring for Kim Kardashian if given the chance. I don’t know about y’all, but rings would definitely be copped at lightening speeds, without hesitation or delay. Unlike women, the fame is completely irrelevant to most men, if Rihanna worked at Carl’s Jr. and had the same body count, I guarantee I know at least 50 niggas who’d offer to eat her butt before they received their receipt. Only niggas with face tattoos, frohawks and R&B mixtapes care about a woman’s past, and that’s because they’re 40% Estrogen. If you, ladies, worried less about who that woman is sleeping with, and more about how to properly marinate and grill a medium well steak to perfection, you’d be happy, too.

Every Woman Is a Hoe, Kind Of

You show me a woman, I’ll find you a nigga who’s played hop scotch in baby girl’s box without being Facebook official. Ladies, here’s a small portion of knowledge; unless you’re a virgin, a nun or Willow Smith, some man, somewhere, thinks considers you a hoe. How else would we describe the girl that we have regular sex with, that haven’t met our mothers? But just because one man views you as a hoe, doesn’t mean you’re doomed to that for all eternity, or else, you’d all be hoes.

They say you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife, I say you don’t know what your mom was doing before you were born. Mommy dearest could’ve been straddling Lionel Richie’s mustache for backstage passes and you wouldn’t have been the wiser. So ladies, remember, it’s not the models, strippers, and women with sexual appetites that are ruining the man/woman relationship. No, it’s you self conscious, miserable women without father figures who are still bitter because you co-signed a car in your name for your ex, only for him to cheat on you with your baby sister. And, of course, the new niggas, but that’s a different topic for a different day. So the next time you’re so quick to judge that woman, take a long look in the mirror and think about the last time a man of the opposite sex told you he loved you, bitch.