Pete Rubens vs. The World
Beats + Rhymes + Life
Pete Service Announcement: A Message to the New Niggas
Attention all new niggas, I have a sincere bone to pick with you. I’m not sure where this trend started, where you came from or who your role models were, but you mooley’s must be stopped at once. On a daily basis, I never cease to be amazed by the random acts of coonery you fatherless nimrods do for attention. It’s gotta stop, so in an desperate attempt to save the Civil Rights that Tim Tebow granted us, there are a few acts new niggadom that must halt at once.
Death of the Leaked Photos/Videos
You niggas sicken me. Granted, I’m not one to complain about seeing flicks of Rihanna and Amber Rose bussin it wide open on my timeline, but leaking nude photos is making it difficult for the authentic niggas to shine. There was once a time when a woman would let those R-rated photos fly without a care in the world, but now that you niggas are willing to leak photos for a few Facebook likes and Twitter retweets, she really has to like you to feel comfortable to send nude photos. I’m a college student that’s been riding around on a quarter tank of gas since ‘08, trying to get my credit score in the 700s, I don’t have the time to trick girls into liking me for a photo dog. I hope those followers were worth it, faggots.
Death to Co-Gender Clothing
Y’all really think y’all the Destiny’s Child don’t you? My first thought of this picture was ‘I didn’t know Prince and the Revolution had a photo shoot in Brooklyn’. Look, I fully believe in one doing what they like to do, wearing what they like to wear, but you niggas really out here copping from American Apparel and rocking a fresh pair of UGGs like that’s what kosher. You know why women don’t respect you? It’s because as a woman, you can’t respect a man when y’all sharing jeans. In the words of the late, great Pimp C ‘Take that monkey shit off, you embarassing us’.
Death to Struggle Tats
This grinds my gears more than anything, and I place sole responsibility on Gucci Mane. Just look at how filthy this nigga looks. Sure, he probably got a few likes from dirty chicks on his photo, maybe even a few chicks even road his face, but rest assured they carried at least 3 incurable STDs. Yes women like a man with tattoos, know what they like more though? A nigga with a job, never forget that.
All in all, you new niggas just need to relax. Martin Luther King Jr didn’t have the march on Washington so you niggas could walk around acting and exactly like your baby sister. Let the women be the women dog and just enjoy the shit.
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